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The following stories were contributed by families from the Northeast Missouri Region.
If you would like to share your story, we would love to hear it!!
Coming Soon!
Elzi's Birth Jan 2006
Addie's Birth Dec 2006
Finn's Birth Sept 2003
Coming Soon!!
Home Birth Stories
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My daughter was born at home 27 months after Finn was born (3 feet away from where my water broke with Finn). The original due date was December 23 but the prenatal measurements and “late” first kicks indicated she wouldn’t be born until January. Unlike the first pregnancy, I felt mild Braxton Hicks several times during the first week of January, but knew “this is it” when mild contractions in my abdomen started (20 minutes apart) at 3:00 pm on the 8th. I called the midwife (the same woman who assisted at Finn’s birth) at 5:00 pm to let her know I was in labor. I had a lot of energy and could easily breathe through the contractions so I got the house ready and cooked while Matt took Finn for a ride in hopes he would nap.
At 9:00 pm I called the midwife to say the contractions were still mild but 3-5 minutes apart. She offered to come over but I didn’t feel like I needed her assistance yet. She reminded me that given the lack of intensity the labor could stop and then start again the next day. Matt and I decided not to start filling the birthing pool until Finn went to sleep. Around 10:00 I laid down with Finn to tell him about the baby coming and help him fall asleep. By 10:30 the contractions intensified and became too uncomfortable to handle easily while lying down. Three contractions later I was on the phone with the midwife and all I said to her was “I want to push”, and she was on her way (but she was 30 minutes away).
Matt rushed around trying to get the pool filled while I threw a pile of pillows in the corner of the kitchen and knelt down over them. I moaned with each contraction trying to fight the urge to push. Matt occasionally shined the flashlight in my direction, almost certain he’d see a head crowning given the sounds I was making. About 20 minutes later I moved to the couch because I thought it would be easier to control the urge to push if I was lying on my side. The midwife and then minutes later the physician arrived and an internal exam indicated I was fully dilated but there was a small cervical lip. The midwife iced my cervix to reduce the swelling and taught me to breathe through the contractions without pushing.
Several contractions later I wanted to get in the water but the hot-water tank was empty and enough water hadn’t been boiled to get the water in the pool above 65 degrees.
Matt added the last stockpot of boiling water to the bathtub, but shortly after entering the tub I vomited, contaminating the water. The midwife asked me to get out of the tub a few contractions later when I was having a difficult time staying on top of the contractions without pushing. She was right, it was time to push.
I stood there through at least one contraction telling them that I was confused; my mind had a hard time making the transition to work with the contractions after I had spent the previous two hours resisting the urge to push. I was also very disappointed that I couldn’t be in the water during the pushing phase. Remembering the hours it took pushing with Finn, I started to lose confidence and asked the midwife to recommend a birthing position (she recommended I try getting down on hands and knees). By the time I walked back to the kitchen, I felt a strongly about sitting on the floor with my back to Matt while he sat behind me for support. I grabbed his hands and within 20 minutes (maybe 10 contractions) our little girl wiggled out at 8.5 lbs and 21” long. I didn’t tear. Elzi nursed for over a half hour then slept for the next 12 hours. She slept nearly 22 hours a day for the first couple weeks.
Thoughts on the birth: The birth center staff truly trusts in the natural birth process. I doubt a traditional hospital physician would have been willing to let me go two weeks past the ‘due date’. With this birth I hit transition so quickly; had there not been a cervical lip, Elzi would have been in my arms before the birth team arrived. Delivering at home was amazing. I think it went so smoothly because I felt safe, in control, and intimately familiar with the environment. It was also great to fall asleep in our family bed shortly after birthing without needing to pack up and travel. It was special to me that Finn slept 10 feet away while I birthed and was never removed from the process. Many people have asked me if there is a secret to painless labors, I think mild contractions are just the way my body labors, and I am sure my midwife’s advice to “trust birth and surrender to it” and my own belief that women evolved to birth naturally and complications are very rare when we are healthy, and feel safe and in control during labor.
Prenatal/Birth Regrets: Before the first birth, I wish I had ‘built a community’ by attending La Leche League meetings and trying to meet new moms with similar birthing and child-rearing philosophies. Matt and I had no relatives in Missouri or friends with young kids. I had mild postpartum depression, despite Matt being very supportive and helpful. I attribute the depression to isolation from other adults, and feeling overwhelmed from recovering from birth and from the intensity of a newborn’s needs. For the second birth, I prioritized family support for the first month and rested as much as possible. After the third month, I socialized a lot with my ‘mothering community’.
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Ame woke me up on Sunday at 5:30 a.m. to let me know that she had had more than a
few contractions since 3:30 that morning. Since she and Cat had spent the better part
of the previous day cleaning and rearranging the apartment, she had a hunch that this
was it. Her throne was ready for the baby, so the baby was ready for the throne.
We stayed in bed for a couple more hours, working through -- as Ame would discover a
little while later -- the minor contractions. Eventually we got up and showered; the
hot water really helped her work through the contractions. Ame then spent a good percentage
of the next few hours leaning over the edge of the couch with my thumbs dug firmly into her
lower back to ease the pain. Knowing that you're supposed to call the doctor when contractions
are a minute long or longer and five minutes between, I tried keeping track of these.
There wasn't, however, much of anything that was regular about these contractions. Expecting
to look at my watch and announce, "One and a half minutes long, seven minutes between," I felt
like I had no idea what was going on when it didn't work out that way, but Ame assured me
that we were in the beginning stages and that things really wouldn't be regulating yet.
Then Ame's water broke, around 12:30 p.m. This led us to the bathroom (linoleum floors
are a plus) for some considerably stronger contractions. The labor was now progressing
rather rapidly, so we decided to fill the birthing pool (a large tub, more or less)
with 'hot' water from the faucet, which turned out to be just a shade above lukewarm.
This really wasn't too terribly surprising, though, when you consider that fact that,
when taking a shower, we have to repeatedly turn the cold water down to keep the shower
hot enough if anybody else in our building is running water too.
Thinking that Addie was going to be coming soon, we called the doula and the midwife
(who was a Mennonite), ready to have the baby at home. Once the pool was filled, Ame
decided that the time was right to get in, more than happy to have the opportunity to
get off her feet. And since the temperature wasn't quite right, Cat helped by boiling
water in our large soup pot (and our small pot, and our sauce pot, and our skillet) and
adding it the pool, which warmed the pool considerably.
The midwife showed up around 2:30 and checked to find that Ame was just about fully dilated.
Baby was getting ready to make her way down. The contractions, obviously, continued. And boy
did they continue. I pulled up a chair alongside the tub and was, as some may say, man-handled.
I am proud to say that I was quite the help to Ame during the contractions, even if my help
consisted of little more than to be a body to hold onto.
The contractions came and went, and the baby was slowly making her entrance to the world.
Slowly. I am convinced that each hour passed more slowly than any hour has ever passed before.
Addie was approaching the world as a procrastinator, which is completely, utterly, absolutely,
unequivocally unlike either of her parents. Eventually, however -- and it seemed like a
miracle at the time -- the baby's fuzzy head began to crown, meaning that we could reach
down and feel it. Ame's reaction to this was, to put it simply, beautiful and priceless.
A few pushes later, which were accompanied by the requisite "I don't want to do this anymore,"
Addison Blythe Hunter entered the world, bright-eyed and beautiful. Even the midwife remarked
on how her eyes were wide open and looking around, and this coming from a woman who has
delivered a couple thousand babies. Ame held her close, still in the water, until the umbilical
cord stopped pulsing and it was time to cut it. That was where I stepped in. The midwife
clamped the cord and handed me the scissors, and in a few short snips (which were tougher
than I expected), Addie was finally no longer connected to her mother's body.
It was then time for Ame to get out of the water, which meant that I was to be handed the baby.
It was suggested that I take my shirt off to bond with the baby and keep her warm (by holding
her skin-to-skin), and I obliged. Then the midwife performed the obligatory weighing of the baby,
which was an event in and of itself.
The thing about Mennonites is that they must buy things to last. I'm not sure what I imagined
when I pictured them weighing the baby, but this wasn't it. The midwife wrapped the baby up in
a piece of faded gingham cloth and suspended the contraption from a handheld spring scale. The
image of a woman in bonnet and conservative, modest dress suspending a baby-in-blanket package
from an old scale -- which measured nothing more exact than pounds, halves, and quarters --
was one that I will probably not soon forget, and one that Cat, the designated picture-taker,
wishes that she had captured on film.
Concerned about the possibility of being pooped on (I still had my shirt off), I asked after a few minutes if we should go ahead and put a diaper on her, just to play it safe. I was told no, almost as if I were ridiculous for asking such a thing. Based upon the answer I was given, I would have ventured a guess that the baby wouldn't actually go to the bathroom until next March. But, low and behold, just a few minutes later I was being peed on.
Since she needed to be cleaned up, I went ahead and laid Addie down to wipe her off and put a diaper on her. The midwife took this opportunity to measure her length, and upon concluding that the baby was 20 inches long -- combined with the knowledge that she was 8 pounds, 10 ounces -- promptly labeled her a "chunker."
The rest of the evening was little more than a blur, which was not entirely surprising given the events that had just transpired. But somewhere in the mix the placenta was delivered, the birth tub was drained, and the apartment was generally cleaned and straightened up. Ame did her part to nurse Addie, and after everyone left Cat was kind enough to bake us some scones; neither of us had really eaten since around noon.
Eventually we were able to settle down and get to bed, but getting to sleep wasn't quite so easy, for a few reasons. First, despite how exhausted we both were, we were still each experiencing an adrenaline rush, and were at the same time completely worn out and wide awake. Second, the baby was fussy when not being held, and Mommy and Daddy were more than happy to hold her for just a minute longer. Third, Addie was still getting the hang of being self-sufficient, such as breathing on her own, and neither of us felt comfortable falling asleep without the absolute assurance that she was going to be okay. It's amazing how much you can love and care about something that's so small.
That is, in a rather large nutshell, our birth story. Ame may be embarrassed by this, but I am so proud of her and amazed at how well she did. She even remarked recently that, a little more than 24 hours after such an experience, she may be willing to do this again some time.
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Birth Center Birth Stories
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Before becoming pregnant with Finn (my first child) at 32 years old, I had no previous experience with infants, had never spoken to a woman who had an out of hospital birth, and had never noticed a woman breastfeeding in public. I had only my instincts and books to guide me. My partner (Matt) and I very much wanted a home birth and I was very excited about using water during labor.
After an easy pregnancy, my water broke (at 8 am) nine days after my due date. I was on the phone, explaining to my physician that I had not urinated in over 12 hours and I felt very constipated despite using several suppositories the night before. I interrupted the conversation to say “never mind, I just peed on the floor”, but she still asked to see me at the birth center as soon as possible. My mom went with me, and as I drove I told her that on and off all night I had ‘unexplained’ slight pressure sensations in my butt. I had 2 more during the 30-minute drive to the birthing center.
When we arrived I had an exam and much to everyone’s surprise I was 9 cm dilated and had unknowingly been in labor for over 12 hours! I was given the option of returning home or birthing there. Assuming it wouldn’t be a long wait, we decided to stay. After settling in, I napped away the afternoon, feeling only slight pressure in my backside every 5-10 minutes. Between 4 pm and midnight I walked and walked and got in the whirlpool tub trying to increase the intensity and frequency of the contractions (nothing worked). By 2 am the physician came in to tactfully say that it had been nearly 20 hours since my water broke and I would need to go to the hospital if there wasn’t considerable progress soon. With encouragement from the midwife, Matt and I continued to walk until after 3:00 am, but the contractions never got under a minute apart nor were they painful.
Finally, the physician realized that the baby’s head was not descending through the angle of the birth canal. I spent the next 2 hours on my back with my feet in stirrups while she manually guided the baby’s head with each contraction (all of us napped between contractions). Sometime after 5:00 am I walked to the whirlpool to push without assistance. By then, I was so tired that the only position I wanted to be in was lying on my back in the water. The contractions were still relatively infrequent and I had to wait for each contraction to push most effectively. Finally, my son was in my arms at 8 am. He was 9 lbs, 2 oz, with a 15.5 cm head. I didn’t tear. Finn’s examination was very brief, he never left my sight. Then he nursed for a few minutes before we napped together for several hours. We left the birthing center 5 hours after his birth.
Thoughts on the birth: I can’t imagine having to push for several hours and handling the burning sensation during the long crowning stage without being in the water. A highlight for Matt was seeing Finn’s eyes open underwater several contractions before he came out of the water. I am also glad that my mother was there to share the birth experience with me.
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